Top 6 annoying people in restaurants

With more opportunity comes more money. More money means you can focus on leisure and a large part of leisure these days means eating out. While it's great to see restaurants bustling with people, there is a new breed of restaurant visitors that I wish to trash. So allow me.

1. Maid in waitingI will walk in with kid and maid in tow. I can't dream of a meal without my adorable pooch of a toddler, but since I cannot be expected to keep him in place, the maid has to accompany us. She must stand straight next to the table and stay totally alert in case the child sneezes or tries to walk. I don't think there is any indignity in not giving you anything to eat or drink, and if you are the cause of annoyance to neighbouring tables, it's their problem.
2. Mr. 'Do you know who I am' I walk in with a swagger. I call for the manager as soon as i enter a restaraunt. I expect to be recognized. And i demand a certain deference from the waiter to the maitre de to the complimentary whatever you can give me.
3. Phone-a-friendI am oblivious to anyone in the restaurant. I don't give a damn how the others on my table feel, how on earth will I care about the rest of the restaurant. I have way too many important things to do than just sit and eat.
4. Chef ConfidentialI cannot eat out without first making close acquaintance with the chef. He has to come and bow in front of me, take me through the menu and then help me order every bite. And heaven help him if he doesn't pay me a visit at the end of my meal to ask me how the meal was.

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5. Ms. Click BugI have to capture the moment and sieze it, never mind if the food gets cold in the process.  My fellow diners can't touch a morsel without me first clicking the food from every angle. After all, i am already thinking of my tweet long before the meal is finished.
6. Mrs. 'Bag-i-licious'I will go for lunch usually with a cackle of other lady friends. We must be a minimum of ten of us to enjoy a meal. Otherwise the cacophony isn't loud enough. A crucial criteria for choosing my friends is that they have to carry a designer bag. The drill is to bang the bag on the table as a sign of our arrival in the upwardly mobile social world. Dear God, may their tribe decrease. Amen.