Advertisement
Lucky Chip
E8, NW5, London, Royale wit cheese [sic], £8
Meat: Salty! This salt fan loves the sea salt crust clinging to the ample curves of Lucky Chip's 32-day-aged, rough-hewn Wiltshire beef baby.Bun: Big and bouncy. A stout, oily, seeded classic that defies meat juices.Toppings: Mustard and ketchup. Gooey American cheese, cascading over the meat. Shredded lettuce, tomato, red onion. Smoked bacon. All excellent.Advertisement
MEATliquor
W1, London, Dead Hippie, £7.50
Meat: Two patties of 28-day-aged chuck steak. Madly juicy - good fat content: paper towels at the ready.Bun: Just the right amount of heft to contain the explosion of beef, grease and cheese.Advertisement
Shake Shack,
WC2, London, ShackBurger, £7.50
Meat: Sure, it's 100% Aberdeen Angus, grass-fed in Scotland, but what's the point if that ends up as an anaemic patty in dire need of charring? And where's the seasoning?Advertisement
Opera Tavern
WC2, London, Ibérico pork and foie gras, £6.50
Meat: Ibérico pork served daringly pink, given outrageous depth and savour from shavings of foie gras.Bun: Slightly sweet, pain de mie-style, from London's Seven Seeded bakery.Toppings: Above: butterhead lettuce, shaved manchego and crisps of fried red onion. Below: onion jam and aioli.USP: Virtually flawless. The only improvement would be supersizing. (These are mini sizes, so I usually order two. At least.)5/5Five Guys
WC2, London, Cheeseburger, £8
Meat: Two grayish patties, granular and super-greasy. Cheap-tasting with a weird boiled quality.Bun: Clammy, sesame-topped - it looks like it came from Burger King. And then someone sat on it.Toppings: "There are over 250,000 ways to order," they crow. My sugary relish and gooey orange cheese means I'm not trying the remaining 249,999.USP: DC import brought to us by boss of Carphone Warehouse; queues of up to two hours for one of these foil-wrapped disappointments. Can only attribute it to mass hysteria.1/5Dirty Burger
NW5, London, Cheeseburger, £5.50
Meat: Dense, aged beef with a nice "animal-style" mustardy crust. Highly-seasoned, with real beefy bite, but could be pinker and juicier.Bun: Just the right side of dense, shiny, demi- brioche. Excellent vehicle for the meat.Toppings: Pasty yellow Cheddar, onion, gherkins, lettuce, tomato. More American mustard.USP: The perfect finale to a night on the lash. A no-frills surprise from swanky Soho House group, but not nearly as "dirty" as it thinks it is.3/5Patty & Bun
W1, London, Smokey Robinson burger, £8
Meat: Thick, 32-day-aged, grass-fed Angus steak of wonderful intensity served perfectly pink. A riot of meat.Bun: Glossy, sweetish, toasted brioche that's just about up to the job of keeping it all together.Toppings: Sticky American-style cheese, jammy caramelised onions, ketchup, just-crisp-enough smoky bacon and "P&B mayo". Meld together happily. Lettuce and tomato.USP: A juicy, messy monster to lose yourself in.4.5/5Almost Famous
Northern Quarter, Manchester, Famous Burger, £6.50
Meat: AF welcomes "meat sluts" and "meat whores" to get grubby with their slobbery big snogs of burgers made from filler-free aged Cheshire chuck and brisket.Bun: Buttered, toasted, demi-brioche.Toppings: Excessive. A recent special, "ultimate triple frickin' cheeseburger", featured three cheeses,(Swiss, Port Salut, Cheddar) fried onions, chilli pickles, bacon, chipotle ketchup ... oh, you name it.USP: After their devastating fire in Manchester, the AF crew are about to land in Liverpool. Dirty, rude, politically incorrect fun.3/5Shake Shack,
WC2, London, 'Shroom burger, £5.25
Veggieburger: Take one portobello mushroom, whack a slab of cheese on top, coat the lot in seasoned breadcrumbs and deep-fry until crisp. Result: when you take that crucial first bite, molten cheese ejaculates, scalding your mouth and hands. Burgers are meant to be messy, but this takes the biscuit.Bun: Same bun as the ShackBurger, but the mushroom fills it way more impressively.Toppings: See the ShackBurger.USP: It's not a bean burger.2.5/5Byron
Various locations, England, The Veggie, £7.75
Veggieburger: Somewhat dull mushroom, not smoky, served tepid. Could do with marination and/or fiercer grilling.Bun: A little too pillowy; without meat juices, it seems dry.Toppings: Spinach, garlic mayo, punchy goat's cheese and excellent peeled and roasted red peppersUSP: For a carnivore, this is a poor substitute. But kudos to Byron for catering for vegetarians.2.5/5Virtually flawless ... Opera Tavern's Iberico pork and foie gras burger. Photograph: Graeme Robertson
For the latest food news, health tips and recipes, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter and YouTube.
Advertisement